Start reframing your mindset and celebrating your wins
Early on in parenthood, I developed a terrible practice of going through the, "I wish I would have..." list at the end of the day. I wish I could say it had some benefits like motivating me to do crafts with my kids or plan fun adventures, but it did not. This practice did nothing but leave me feeling guilt ridden, paralyzed by failure and wishing I was a better mom.
Since recognizing this unproductive and negative habit, I’ve been working on showing myself more kindness. When I feel the guilt starting to take over I talk myself through a, “what went right” list. Suddenly, “I can’t believe I let my daughter wear that stained shirt to school” becomes “I taught my daughter independence by letting her pick her own shirt.”
Not only does this practice allow me to recognize the good, but it gives me the space, without the soul crushing guilt, to think more thoughtfully about areas I want to work on in a productive way.
I won’t lie, it hasn’t been a cake walk to shift my mindset and I still struggle to keep out the voice that wants to tell me what I did wrong. But by practicing this every day, especially the days where I feel my worst, I have become much kinder to myself and celebrate my successes as I would if I were talking to a friend who was feeling down on themself.
If you’re struggling where to start and truly feel like nothing has gone right for you today, might I suggest starting with the biggest one: “I might have lost my cool on my kids today, but I also loved my kids today.”
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